WordPlay

by ConnneryBeagle

This is ConneryBeagle and I am WRITING THIS BLOG. 

I have been QUIET.  I have been BUSY with a thing called GETTING BETTER.  Sometimes I do ACUPUNCTURE, and sometimes I do HERBAL THINGS, and then I do TREADMILL THINGS and BIKING THINGS.

But DART BEAGLE has been doing all the PLAY things.  The play with agility and the play with obedience and the play with rally.

That is not fair.

It is not RIGHT.

But this past weekend mymom took DART BEAGLE to a thing called a FUN MATCH, which is even better than normal play.  And I came out of the van crate for walkies and I said to her, “I SHOULD DO THIS TOO.”

I said it like this:

“BAWH!!!  BAWOUL!!”

She said, “ConneryBeagle, you have not done rally for almost six years.”

And I said, “BAWH!!!”

And she said, “Well, you can play with rally novice and I will go SIGN YOU UP.”

And I said, “BAWH!”

Then I waited for my turn.  It did not take TOO long.  Mymom reminded me about what we were doing for only a little bit and then she TOOK ME TO THE RING.

This is me waiting my turn and I am READY TO GO.

And I am doing a SPIRAL RIGHT around the cones and we are MOVING SMARTLY

Mymom is laughing with the JUDGE because she made a MISTAKE, but I am not making a MISTAKE. I am GOOD.

We are at the END and I am still being VERY GOOD. I am a GOOD BOY.

Maybe Mymom will see that it is TIME for me to be DOING THINGS again.  I think she SHOULD.

BAWH!

It is ME.

CONNERYBEAGLE.

And I have CAT HAIR.

BAWHSOME!

I have had cat hair for days before this, but mymom said, “Computer, aurgh!” and then “Computer, AURGH!” and then “COMPUTER AURGH!!!!”

And I did not get to write this post.

Now she is just making funny strangled sounds, but sometimes she says, “Computer, HA HA HA I WIN!”  And she is saying that more often, and I think maybe things will be okay SOON.

Or maybe she will have to start ALL OVER AGAIN.

But the important thing is that I have CAT HAIR.

I have some hair from!

Fish, Fred, and Trilla Barber!

Sam I Am Vause!

Malachi and Gennie (Muff-Tuff) Farrell!

It was very nice of them to SHARE THEIR HAIRS.

Now I can do some LEARNING and maybe help other kitties.

It is ME, CONNERYBEAGLE.

I am allergic to CATS.

I don’t like to admit it, but I AM ALLERGIC to mymom, too.  Don’t tell.

But I have gone looking for CATS anyway.  LOST CATS.

I am just learning to do this.  Mymom says a lot of people have helped ME and it is good if I can HELP BACK.

I found a CAT and he is back home.

I found ANOTHER CAT but he is STILL HIDING.

It is like tracking only NOT.  It is SEARCHING and that is different.  It is not really my job to GET THE CAT.  It is my job to show the people where to FIND and TRAP the cat.  Mymom says, “Any cat we can CATCH is not MOBILE and that is not a good thing.”

Now I need to practice the difference between searching for CATS and TRACKING THINGS.  So I need CAT HAIR.

I need cat hair that comes from DIFFERENT CATS so we can play with looking for THE RIGHT CAT.  That is hard, because I would like to find them ALL.  Mymom has a place to send cat hair!  She says it has to be these things:

!Each batch from a single cat, starting with with a CLEAN BRUSH!

!Each batch in a BAGGIE WITH CAT NAME!

Oh.  Those are the only things.  That is NOT HARD!

Here is a place to send CAT HAIR:

CONNERYBEAGLE
c/o Doranna Durgin
PO Box 1630
Tijeras, NM 87059

When cat hair comes here, there is NO SUCH THING as a BAD HAIR DAY.

It is me, CONNERYBEAGLE.

I am still doing REHAB but that does not mean I am not having FUN.  I am TRACKING and I have helped people find LOST CATS and I have done AGILITY JUMPINGS in special exercises.

Also I go with mymom when Dart Beagle does things.  And then I watch and I go YAWN because I already KNOW THESE THINGS.  See, I will SHOW you.  Because last weekend we went to a PRACTICE OBEDIENCE THING and it was Dart Beagle’s FIRST ONE.

There is a reason mymom has Dart Beagle practice sitting on a BUCKET. Otherwise he thinks he should just sit right on his BOTTOM and show all his PARTS TO THE WORLD when he is sitting UP STRAIGHT.

Dart Beagle should be CLOSER to mymom. At least his TAIL is HAPPY.

This is a LONG DISTANCE for a RECALL but Dart Beagle is WAITING. That is GOOD. He is that SMALL SPOT over there across from MYMOM.

Dart Beagle ran VERY FAST on the recall and mymom had a thought balloon and it said, "Gee, I hope he STOPS WHEN HE GETS HERE!"

Dart Beagle DID STOP but his butt stopped NOT FAST ENOUGH so he is crooked. Mymom has a new thought balloon and it says "AWWW, EAR MALFUNCTION SO CUTE!" But I am CUTER, I am sure of it.

This is a HARD THING: it is the LONG DOWN. Dart has his own THOUGHT BALLOON. It says something about IT IS TIME TO BE CREATIVE.

You SEE? He is thinking TOO HARD. That is NEVER GOOD.

That's FUNNY. Dart Beagle does not seem to be in the shade as much any longer. And his legs are stretched out BEHIND. And his front legs are stretched out FRONT.

There he is THINKING again. It cannot be GOOD. And look, his back end is all tucked under again. And the shade is BEHIND HIM.

LOOK! LOOK! CAUGHT IN THE ACT! BAD BEAGLE! BAWH!

Oh Look. Mymom has SPOKEN. Now Dart Beagle is BACK IN THE SHADE. But he is STILL THINKING.